i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
