I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
BRING THE BAGELS
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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