I could have mohawked her pubes.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
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