Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
