Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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