i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
