Having a random hookup so left but love u
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
