I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
