Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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