Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
