dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
operation have a gay friend backfired
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Randomize
