he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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