dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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