You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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