so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Dignity is for republicans.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Randomize
