were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
