so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
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