I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
babies were throwing up all over the place
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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