i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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