he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
