we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Randomize
