I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
