I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
