I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
