my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
