I wannas sexs uuuuu
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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