but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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