If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
