And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
