no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
