I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
