P.S. I can't hear my feet
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
