does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
