Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
