ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
