I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
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