I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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