we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
