i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Couch. On fire.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
