what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
