Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
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