that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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