I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
