tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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