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In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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