Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
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