Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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