Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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