Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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