the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Randomize
