Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I am one with the molecules
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
